God's Hand

Throughout my life whenever times were hard I have always envisioned myself curled up in the palm of God's hand. This always brings me comfort and makes me feel loved and protected from life's hurts and troubles. Right now I am imagining myself nestled in the hand of God because this week we lost our little unborn baby at ten weeks. Heartbreaking disappointment doesn't even begin to describe the anguish we are feeling right now. Still, throughout all of this sorrow we can feel the love and care of God as he holds our family close in His arms.



Now that I have to find a way to process my thoughts I want to share some of them with you about our loss and hopefully offer some hope and encouragement to others who may go through such a loss someday.  I won't lie to you and say that I wasn't angry at first because I was and I'm human and I wanted this baby so badly. However I am moving farther into acceptance and all of the knowledge that I have from God's Word and in my own mind and heart has meshed into a realization that as a Christian I must accept sorrow and pain as well as blessings and joy.

Even Jesus had to accept this while He was living as a man on Earth. Isaiah 53:3 tells us that He was "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering". This same verse also states that He was rejected and despised and He bore his grief alone. However, we do not have to suffer our grief alone because as Christians we have the Holy Spirit living in our hearts and comforting us while filling us with supernatural strength. Let me tell you it is supernatural because in the flesh there is no way a mother can see a blessing or find any joy in the loss of a child no matter how young or old, born or unborn.


Since I am human the temptation to be angry at God is great but once again I know I must turn to the Word for instruction in order to avoid allowing bitterness to take over in my heart. 1 Corinthians 10:13 explains "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." The most important and somewhat difficult thing to grasp in this situation is that in order to find thankfulness or blessing from such a loss instead of anger and bitterness you must realize two things as foundational and let them dwell deeply in your mind. These two things are that our Father is omniscient (all knowing) and omnipotent (all powerful). I am human and do not know everything and I certainly do not possess power in great capacity. Since God knows everything and I do not I must realize that He had knowledge about the future that I cannot know or accept in my frail human mind. Furthermore since God had the power to save my baby's life but chose not to do so He was most likely exercising protection in some way. I know God loves us and wants good things for us because it says so in His Word so in light of this and through the strength of the Holy Spirit I am choosing to thank Him for His decision because I know as my Father he wants what is best for me and my family even as I want what's best for my own children including my little baby in Heaven. I emphasize choosing as thankfulness is an unnatural reaction for me at this time.

I want to share with you two ideas that have often helped me through hard times and have certainly helped me this week:

First of all I always remind myself during hard times that no matter how bad life seems there is always somone out there who is suffering greater trials than myself. This is another way to exercise thankfulness because I can thank Jesus that my trial was not greater than it was and I can think of many ways in which it could have been. Just sayin.

The last thing I wanted to share is a poem that has often helped me during hard times to get through numbness and pain and keep moving forward. It is called "Do the Next Thing" and a wonderful Christian lady named Elizabeth Elliott spoke about it many years ago. I copied it down at the time and have always remembered it when I need to remind myself to keep on going and keep on keeping on during hard times because I have often found that there is comfort in performing daily work and routines when life is upended all around you. The words are very comforting to me at this time...

Do The Next Thing

"At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
there came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'

Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing."

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